i'm back in the states but i feel as if i don't belong her. israel was...a lot of things. it was seductive, inducing, nostalgic, crisp, playful, dexterous, somber, and kinda deceiving. i didn't see a few ppl that i promised myself i'd see. i've reflected on how some ppl just choose to bring out the worst in a situation and can't help but wonder why. it's so pointless. i'm mad at a few ppl in this country for taking so many things for granted and yet they find time to complain about more nad more thigns as they obtain success. i'm mad at myself for coming back to this state of mind when i should be out there discouraging bx like this. it's gonna be hard to fix this.
i start school tomorrow. somehow, i feel as if it is getting in the way of my education. i was so prosperous before college. i was into studying french and locking myself in my house practicing my music for hours and translating biblical passages for depth and now i feel sluggish and a bit deprived culturally. in a way, i'm excited for school tomorrow; i'll be in a place where education is valued and not wasted. but i'm pretty used to the way things are now; mellowed out and i've def acquired a newfound snese of responsibility in the past few weeks. i've got this new outlook that i'm not afraid to put out there and i feel as if there is nothing holding me back from being who i am. and i know who i am now.
a lot of crazy things happened in israel. i broke a physical barrier with this guy who i'm gonna kill later, i got to see my woman after all these months, dead sea in 40 degree weather was joyful, got raped by a camel, slept in a bedouin tent with cats that ate my chicken, and then some. now jenny go bye bye.